Monday, May 14, 2018

Why Mother's Day Was Bittersweet

Mother's Day was yesterday, Sunday, May 13th. My husband and I started our day by attending church. After the church services, all moms and moms-to-be (me!) were honored by being given a beautifully decorated cookie. We then went home and prepared for our guests. Even though our kitchen doesn't currently exist due to remodeling, my husband and I hosted our parents for a cookout during the afternoon. It was a wonderful time spent visiting with both sets of parents, discussing Hammer's baby shower, and just enjoying the day.

I am beyond grateful for my own mother and my mother-in-law. My mother is the one who raised me and was integral in why I am the person I have become. While we didn't always get along, my mom is now one of my best friends. She is there for me when I need her. I'm never afraid nor ashamed to be in my early 30s and need my mother for certain things. My mother-in-law is an amazing woman. She raised my husband into the perfect man (hey, I'm not biased!) and has been there we we needed her the most. She and my father-in-law routinely help us with our home remodeling. She is a strong woman and someone I admire deeply.

All that being said, this Mother's Day was incredibly bittersweet for me. Last summer, my husband and I learned we were pregnant. At our first ultrasound at 13 weeks, we learned we were having twins. Within one month, we lost those twins due to a malformation of their umbilical cords. I delivered my sleeping babies into Heaven on September 13, 2017.

The image shared to the right was on my Facebook timeline. It triggered an immense sadness in me a week ago. I was already struggling because it was a Monday, but seeing the image of crying parents giving an angel baby away made me emotional the rest of the day. I should have been celebrating my own first Mother's Day yesterday with my twins. Our sons would have been about three months old had we not lost them. Even typing this, I am becoming sad and missing my baby boys.

All that being said, I am incredibly grateful for my current pregnancy. We became pregnant with our rainbow baby, also a son, very shortly after delivering the twins. My due date with my current little one is July 19th. We cannot wait to meet him. We will most definitely be telling him about his brothers. Next year, I will be able to celebrate Mother's Day with this little guy. While I will always miss the presence of my twins, I know having their little brother with me will make the day easier.

I would like to wish a (belated) Happy Mother's Day to all of the moms out there... whether you be the mom of adult children, little kids, angel babies, furbabies, or anything else... you deserve to be celebrated! ♥♥♥

1 comment:

  1. Happy (belated) Mother's Day to you! Hugs and love to you, as well, through what must be such a difficult holiday to navigate.