Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Hey, It's Okay

Hey, it's okay...

... to have missed a day of blogging already (Sunday). A goal is a goal and, while it would have been nice to keep up with it, I won't stop trying this time. I have a bad habit of dropping goals if I miss them somehow. Not this time!

... to feel weird about not having a full-time job right now. I'm on my second day of not working and it's so strange. I'm supposed to be spending the four weeks and two days until my due date relaxing and getting things ready for baby before being a stay-at-home mom. When you've had a full-time job for the last fifteen years, it's weird to all of a sudden not be at work.

... to have binge watched television all day the first day off work. I haven't watched a lot of television lately so it was very enjoyable.

... to both love and hate pregnancy. I'm almost 36 weeks pregnant. I'm ready to meet my baby. I'm also super anxious while pregnant. I know I'm going to worry once my baby is born. I don't question that. While he's inside me, though, I don't know if he's okay. Did his heart stop beating? Did he stop breathing? I can't tell while he's inside. Having a pregnancy loss ramps up my anxiety.

My sweet baby boy in 3D.

... to be sad I had to take of my memorial ring for the twins today. My right hand is slightly swollen. My left hand is fine so I'm not sure why my right hand is swollen. I could barely get my ring off so I decided to just keep it off for now which makes me miss them more.

Memorial ring with the names of the twins.

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